we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
