Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
