Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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