just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
