Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize