did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
