I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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