It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
