Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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