My sheets look like a crime scene.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
