I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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