dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize