Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize