Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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