The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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