Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
