your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's blow job season.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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