i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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