the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i've created a new STD.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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