so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
