You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
