I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
