Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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