Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
