I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
