I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize