Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
