lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
