We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
