Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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