It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
