Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
MIDGETS
????
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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