woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So many bounce houses so little time
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
