It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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