Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
