dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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