I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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