Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
