I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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