what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
