She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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