Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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