so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I believe in your delicious
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
