my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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