i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
