i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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