omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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