is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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