I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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