and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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