Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
