Welp...herpes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
