he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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