why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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