i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
