her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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