your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
