If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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